The Art of the Anti Valentine

10 Anti Valentines You Need This Year

Every year, these Valentine’s Day cards get a little more diverse and a little more complicated. Yes, lots of funny kinds of love out there. But it’s also important to have a few cards for our dear single friends on this tortuous day. And then there are those of you who hate buying Valentine’s Day cards and kinda want this holiday to go away forever. But alas. This year, I had a lot of fun designing these. My designing happens around Christmastime, which is a little weird due to most stores needing them quickly after the Christmas rush ends. Also, there are a whole lot of you who like to get a jump on your Valentine shopping.

As you may have noticed, there is a lot more illustration and lettering going on in the cards lately. This is because I’ve always looked to make the cards brighter and even more fun. It’s been a goal of mine to stop relying on fonts and move to everything being hand-lettered. So after dusting off the old calligraphy skills, I’ve gotten back into something I’ve long forgotten – the art of the letter. Typography is something I’m obsessed with. I hope you enjoy the completely unique new version of the same hilariously snarky cards you’ve grown to love (and hate, right?)

If you hate Valentine’s Day, another route to happiness is checking out the new section in the shop. I’ve been working hard at putting a bunch of new ideas to the test, and I hope you enjoy them! Click here for the NEW card section.


1. Taking a Nap

Take a Nap

The best way to celebrate Valentine’s Day is by doing something you do best. Sleep.


2. You’re SINGLE?

You're Single?

You don’t have to broadcast it.

3. Be Wine

Be Wine

Only if you’re wine. My true love is wine.

4. F*ck Valentine’s Day.

F*ck Valentine's Day

Every day. No specific day.

5. Everyone’s To Do List

To Do List

Fine. Fine. I’ll buy a card.

6. I Ate the Little Birdie

Little Birdie

Little birdies are so annoying.

7. Realistic Candy Hearts

Candy Hearts

Candy Hearts that tell it like it really is.

8. Even Bitches Like Me

Bitches Like Me

Yes, it’s true. We’ll be nice one day a year.

9. How to Survive Valentine’s Day

There are no other options

I don’t know about you, but this is what I’ll be doing this Valentine’s Day.

10. More Like Fartbreaker

Fart Breaker

Listen, we all know the “heartbreaker” phase was a looong time ago.


Head on over to Colette Paperie for all of your Non-Valentine needs.

LIMITED TIME: Use code VALENTINES for 30% off your entire order!