mother’s day is coming!

Don’t let Mother’s Day sneak up on you this year! It’s Sunday, May 8th and I’m going to put my full trust in you that you won’t resort to the big box stores for your greeting card needs. It’s not worth it. We’ve got cards for your mom friends, stepmoms, non-moms and all matters of regular moms. Need something even more specific? Let us know!

Lately, whenever a new holiday comes up, I’ve been trying to learn something about that holiday. Because as it turns out, a greeting card maker should really know more about holidays than the average person. Which if you’re me, is nothing. Turns out, it has some sad roots. It was founded for mourning women to remember fallen soldiers.  And when the holiday went commercial, its greatest champion, Anna Jarvis, gave everything to fight it, dying penniless and broken in a sanitarium. Pretty nuts, huh? Well, I think perhaps Moms should still be celebrated, so let’s go ahead and be glad things turned out the way they did, with over 122 million phone calls made to moms just in the United States on Mother’s Day.

So there’s your lesson of the day. Enjoy!

Check out all the new cards here, and use the code NEWNESS for free shipping on your order!

 

 

Pretty Awesome Stepmom

Pretty Awesome Stepmom

 

Pretty Damn Awesome

Pretty Damn Awesome

 

Thanks for the Potty Training

Thanks for the Potty Training – a useful skill!

 

Of All My Friends...

Of All My Friends… don’t tell.

 

Favorite Kid

Favorite Kid – let’s not tell anyone else.

 

Favorite Mom

Favorite Mom in all the moms, ever.

 

Pretty Lucky to Have Me

Pretty Lucky to Have Me – obviously!

 

Really Crazy

Really Crazy – or is she still?

 

Mother's Day card

Wasn’t the Easiest Child (You know who you are.)

 

Mother's Day card

Best Thing Out of an Egg – Mom not much for cooking? This one’s for you!

 

— Your pals at Colette Paperie

Valentines are here!

Don’t fall victim to the big box stores for your Valentine’s Day card needs. You’re ahead of the game this year. You won’t wait until the last minute. You’re better than this!

Valentine’s Day is of course a big day for card sellers, so this year I’ve decided to create cards for not just your significant others. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.

A few of my favorites so far – with the full collection being located here.

A little interesting history on Valentine’s Day:

Pope Gelasius declared February 14 St. Valentine’s Day at the end of the 5th century. It was not until much later, however, that the day became definitively associated with love. During the Middle Ages, it was commonly believed in France and England that February 14 was the beginning of birds’ mating season, which added to the idea that the middle of Valentine’s Day should be a day for romance.

Valentine greetings were popular as far back as the Middle Ages, though written Valentine’s didn’t begin to appear until after 1400. The oldest known valentine still in existence today was a poem written in 1415 by Charles, Duke of Orleans, to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London following his capture at the Battle of Agincourt. (The greeting is now part of the manuscript collection of the British Library in London, England.) Several years later, it is believed that King Henry V hired a writer named John Lydgate to compose a valentine note to Catherine of Valois.

By the middle of the 18th century, it was common for friends and lovers of all social classes to exchange small tokens of affection or handwritten notes, and by 1900 printed cards began to replace written letters due to improvements in printing technology. Ready-made cards were an easy way for people to express their emotions in a time when direct expression of one’s feelings was discouraged. Cheaper postage rates also contributed to an increase in the popularity of sending Valentine’s Day greetings.

Americans probably began exchanging hand-made valentines in the early 1700s. In the 1840s, Esther A. Howland began selling the first mass-produced valentines in America. Howland, known as the “Mother of the Valentine,” made elaborate creations with real lace, ribbons and colorful pictures known as “scrap.” Today, according to the Greeting Card Association, an estimated 1 billion Valentine’s Day cards are sent each year, making Valentine’s Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year. 85% are purchased by women!

 

Valentine's Day Card

IMG_2782

IMG_2783

IMG_2784

IMG_2787

IMG_2788

IMG_2789

IMG_2790

IMG_2791

IMG_2792

IMG_2793

 

Have a great day!

how to survive

How to survive this time of year without painkillers or booze, or even pumpkin spice lattes


IMG_1017

Reserve 5 minutes in parking lots to be a teenager again.
Play an insipid game on your phone and listen to music really loud and just escape. Yes, your mom-mobile will have bass pumping in the Target parking lot, but do it anyway. You need it, those 5 minutes might be the best escape of your day.

IMG_0477

Get in that bathtub and lock the bathroom door behind you.
A bubble bath isn’t necessary, but you definitely need to lock yourself in the bathroom once in a while. Tell everyone else you’re pooping if you have to. Sit on the floor and rub up those legs with some fruity lotion. Or if you’re feeling super fancy, get in the bathtub, light a candle you have lying around, and even turn on some music. Yes, you can have wine too – but that goes against the whole idea of this list. I know you wine freaks out there are gonna have wine whenever the hell you want anyway, so who cares what I say, right?

IMG_0473
Listen to your tunes really loud in the car. Find new music often.
The car is your refuge, isn’t it? May I make a few suggestions?
Broods – Bridges
Purity Ring – Push Pull
X Ambassadors – Renegades
James Blake – Retrograde
GEMS – Pegasus
Foals – Mountain at My Gates
Aaron Krause – Recreational
Banks – Drowning
Kite String Tangle – Arcadia

IMG_1497

Even your longest-lasting friendships may not be giving you what you need.
What is important is the “now” and what you can do to keep the people around you that are completely supportive of every choice you make. Even if you decide to stop brushing your teeth for 6 months, the friends you want around you are the ones that can stand to keep talking to you during this difficult time of terrible breath. The friend that can support you the most right now might be one you just met. Focus on those who keep your spirit lifted and your head held high with positive energy.

IMG_0486

But get back in touch with some old friends this holiday season.
As the old saying goes, you have to send mail to get mail in return.

IMG_0471

Know that you are not locked into the tiny box it feels like you are.
Careers & networking & all that other bullcrap can feel pretty suffocating, yes? Then you turn around and it’s years later and you’ve gotten nowhere. You’ve moved to a city away from your family and still haven’t made any solid friendships. But making another huge change feels like it could be ten times worse than staying. Plan your escape now. It may take 10 minutes and it may take 10 years, but if you have a plan and stick to it, you can get what you want.

IMG_1535

Go ahead and keep your house messy, because it is not a reflection of who you are as a person.
You are in fact, barely able to brush your hair in the morning and any attempts to do so should be greatly admired. Your messy house is to be expected and no one should fault you for it. Obviously. Anyone who sees your messy house should feel honored you even let them in to see your castle.

IMG_1476
Know that some people are really hard to forgive & you don’t have to feel bad about that.
The whole world focuses on what a huge relief it is to forgive people and to give up your grudges. And yes, it’s true. You should. But nobody talks about how hard it truly is sometimes. Forgiving yourself for that is the first step. You’re human and you have emotions. Someone hurt you and you don’t have to instantaneously forgive them for being a complete douchebag right when you needed them.

IMG_2831

Get a hobby. It doesn’t even have to be cool.
When I say hobby, I don’t even mean something meaningful or interesting. I’m not asking you to become a hipster. It just needs to be something that you can complete in half a day and feel like you accomplished something. So you can feel proud of yourself for starting something and finishing it. You could try and say you did 4 loads of laundry today and finished them, but we all know you didn’t put that shit away, so it doesn’t count. A project. Something new, creative and different around the house. It almost doesn’t matter what it is, but you might as well do something you want to do. Start a Pinterest board of things you might want to do. (Very funny, you already have 5 boards dedicated to these, right?) – pick a list of the most attainable ones and ditch the ones you’ll never, ever do. Which is most of them. But if you get one done…

IMG_9717

Try not to worry so much about that jerk-of-a-diet this year and your upcoming strict-ass resolutions.
How about you try to be a little more free? If you’re always feeling like a Fatty Fatty 2×4, you’re never going to be able to enjoy this time of year at all. Decide that if your family is stressing you the hell out, you’ll hit the yoga mat to find some peace and quiet in the evenings to zap some of the evil thoughts about your in-laws. Maybe this year’s resolutions will be to explore more ways to cook the things you love and stop thinking of it as a restriction – but more as your freedom. Yes, obviously you’re still going to eat brownies. What are we, saints?

IMG_1481

Be lazy. What other time of year is it totally OK to be utterly freaking lazy?
Hot chocolate, flannel pajamas and slippers.

IMG_1024

Send holiday cards.
I bet you can think of someone that would love to get this in the mail. That ho.
IMG_3271

New Cards

IMG_1968

Continuing to expand on these kinds of cards – I hope to have more in the future to give laughs to those who need it the most!

 

IMG_1969

for you and all of your gorgeous friends

 

IMG_1970

I’ve gotten some suggestions to make one about going gluten-free, too… perhaps another one in the future…

 

IMG_1971

Me either. Yep. Right.

 

IMG_1972

If you aren’t weird, I don’t want you.

 

IMG_1973

It’s a potty mouth card without really being one!

To see all of the new cards, click here!